How to Write an Action Scene, According to Rachel...

Originally posted on Work in Progress on January 23, 2008

Daydream says:
First […] about technique. You have a scene, where you have a lot of characters and then there are a lot of situations and the whole scene is overloaded with motion. How do you manage to write it and keep track of POV?

Rachel says:

(Okay, my answer for this got long, and kind of turned into “How to Write an Action Scene, According to Rachel Vincent." Sorry. ;-))

POV (point of view) has never really been an issue for me, mostly because I write in first person. First is harder than third in a lot of ways, but it also has several distinct advantages, not the least of which is perspective. You can only see and hear what the main character sees and hears. It's that simple.

Now, in Stray, during one of the early drafts, my beloved mentor pointed out that I had Faythe seeing something happening behind her. For those who have read the book, it was the scene early on, where Jace is chasing Faythe down the hall and Marc comes out to stop him. I had Faythe see their brief argument, even though she was running away from them. Stupid, huh? So yeah, I fixed it. And I can’t remember making another POV error since that. (Though now that I’ve said that, someone will probably pop in and point out one of my mistakes. Rinda…? ;-))

However, the real heart of your question seems to be, “How do you keep track of everything going on in a scene loaded with action?” And that is a tough one.

I actually face this fairly often, in nearly every fight scene in the werecat books, because most of them involve multiple people/cats. My only suggestion here is to take the scene in rounds, which is how I do it.

In the first pass over, I’ll put in only the basic fight maneuvers, keeping in mind where everyone is as they’re fighting. And remember, if you’re writing in 1st person, you can only see what the MC sees, so be sure to use her other senses to clue the reader in to what else is going on.

Then, I go back in and add in character reactions. Pain radiating throughout whatever part of the body took the blow. Stunned pauses. Momentary loss of hearing/consciousness. Physiological responses to fear and/or pain. Psychological reactions to the same.

Next I’ll probably layer in details from the scene. What kinds of props are they fighting with? What’s around that can be used as a weapon? If characters are slammed into walls and floors, what are those walls and floors made of? What kinds of sounds would the various materials make when they come into sudden and violent contact with a human (or not-so-human) body?

What about the weather? Does moonlight shine down to barely light the fight, or does noon-day sunlight bathe them all in sweat? Is it raining or hot and dry? Do they slip in puddles? Are they covered by shade? Does the fight take them anywhere within the setting? Through (or out) a door or window?

Every single piece of the setting a character interacts with will give your reader another detail about where they are, without resorting to those long, detail-packed setting info-dumps.

Next I’d probably layer in sounds and smells (and this is where you get to use some of the character’s other senses, if you’re writing in 1st). S/he can hear grunts as blows land, thuds as bodies hit the ground. If she has a supernatural sense of smell, she can smell blood as it’s drawn, and possibly sweat and/or fear. And any other bodily fluids anyone loses control of.

Also, each setting probably has its own smell. Forest? What kind of trees and ground cover? City? Do they smell (or see) smog or fresh asphalt? Hear traffic? Use what the characters are surrounded with to ground the scene in reality and give the reader a taste of exactly what the characters are experiencing.

Now, this doesn’t change very much if your scene isn’t a fight scene, but you still have a lot going on. Make sure to show us what the MC sees and feels, when she sees and feels it. Show us where she is. Show us what she hears.

And if it gets too complicated, don’t be afraid to slow down and take it in several stages. And re-read/tweak it as often as you need to, taking a break between run-throughs to keep from zoning out.

Does that help at all?


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